It could have been me. I could have been just another statistic.
So many parent-less children grow up in the system. A system that is broken, and that repeatedly fails them time and time again.
I could have been one of the millions of foster children shuffled about from home to home. Although my grandmother hates to hear me say that, it’s true. The life I had was blessed because I had family members who cared.
This reality didn’t dawn on me until my grandmother became a foster parent. It was only the two of us when she decided to make a difference in the lives of so many others.
One by one, I would see the kids file in and out of our home. Some of them truly destitute, without mother, father, or any close kin. Sadly though, more often than not, there were those who had close family members who decided, for whatever reason, not to take them in. Unfortunately, this proved to be the rule more than the exception. I would look at the lives of these children and think about my own life. Here I was, my parents divorced before my birth, my mother dying before I turned 5-years-old, my father deciding that it would be OK just to leave me as I was — parent-less.
I would later tell my grandmother, “You and the family didn’t have to make the choice to raise me.” You see, it wasn’t only my grandmother who stepped in; it was my mother’s two brothers, her sister, and her sister’s husband who filled my cup.
They ensured that I had what I needed in life, from the spiritual to the natural, and most importantly, they assured me that I was loved and valued.
My three uncles, Wayne, Desi, and Clint, collectively stood in the gap for my natural father.
They sowed their money, time, energy, prayers, education, and support into my life — if not for them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. Their love and care made all the difference, and for that, I am truly grateful.
Thank you, Uncles, for being my father figures.
I hope this story encourages other men, who might not be fathers, to step in and fill an empty gap.
Nicole Major, Co-Creator of Shades Of Goodness, has written professionally for more than 15 years for a variety of publications including the Jacksonville Business Journal, Women in Aviation Magazine and The Herald. She’s written internationally for PC World Egypt, the Middle East Times, and Am Cham Egypt’s Business Monthly Magazine. She is currently a fulltime staff writer for the Fairfield Ledger in Fairfield, Iowa where she has written under the name Nicole Hester-Williams. In 1997, the Arthritis Foundation nominated her for a profile story she wrote highlighting a young woman’s struggle with Rheumatoid Arthritis; she was subsequently awarded a Celebrate Independence Medal. Nicole has authored three books including “Amina, Princess of Zaria,” which was a brief Amazon bestseller for books in African literature in 2007. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in interdisciplinary studies with concentrations in both journalism and social science. She currently lives in Fairfield, Iowa with her husband Jason and their two daughters, Danielle and Gabrielle.
